Bad Mothers
If you are of a certain age, and are a rock music aficionado, you will recall a time when super groups walked the earth. One of the foremost of these was Cream, whose existence was but short but resounding. One of their most popular and successful albums was Disreali Gears, released in 1967 and ending up as the number one album of 1968 in the U.S., according to Cash Box. Bringing up the rear in this collection of rock classics that featured “Tales of Brave Ulysses”, “Strange Brew”, and their smash hit “Sunshine of Your Love”, was an eyebrow raising departure from the rest of the album: a tragic ditty sung a’cappella by the three lads in outrageous cockney accents. “Mother’s Lament” describes a poor mother’s shock at finding her undernourished infant washed down the drain while trying to bath it.
It had been recorded before, in 1963 by the godfather of English folk, Martin Carthy, as “Your Baby ‘as Gorn Dahn the Plug’ole”, and later by ex-pat English folkies, John Roberts and Tony Barrand as “Dahn the Plughole.” One would certainly take it for a traditional staple of the London music halls of the nineteenth century. Shockingly however, its origin is much more recent.
It was written in 1944 by Jack Spade. That is a bogus name however. It is a combined pseudonym of the guilty parties: Elton Box, Desmond Cox, and Irwin Dash (who further complicates things with his own pseudonym of Lewis Ilda.) The trio also turned out “I’ve Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts” using yet another pseudonym, Fred Heatherton, also in 1944. Dash (who was born in Baltimore) teamed up earlier with an entirely different group of collaborators to produce “Hinky Dinky Parlay Voo?” in 1924.
The lyrics vary with each performer, according to where they stole it from, but the gist of the tale remains the same. So while there are indeed, variations of lyrics, here is the version by Cream, who you have to admit, do a blinding job of it:
Mother’s Lament:
A mother was washing her baby one night
The youngest of ten and a delicate mite
The mother was poor and the baby was thin
'Twas naught but an skeleton covered with skin
The mother turned 'round for a soap off the rack
She was only a moment but when she turned back
Her baby had gone, and in anguish she cried
"Oh, where has my baby gone?", the angels replied
Oh, your baby has gone down the plug hole
Oh, your baby has gone down the plug
The poor little thing was so skinny and thin
He should have been washed in a jug
Your baby is perfectly happy
He won't need a bath anymore
He's a-muckin' about with the angels above
Not lost but gone before
•••
In the late nineteenth century, many musical narratives of the British Isles were floating freely, re-interpreted by whatever minstrel had a mind to. Apparently, nobody bothered to create a data base of this material, because it never occurred to anyone to do so. But Frances James Child felt it was his calling to collect as many of these loosely connected stories as possible, whether anyone wanted them or not.
The son of a Boston sailmaker, Child was born in 1825 and rose from his lowly social standing to distinguish himself as an excellent student. He so excelled that he was admitted to Harvard with a little help from private sources, and scholarships. After graduation, he became the school’s expert in English literature, writing and teaching the works of the classic authors. A distinct love of old ballads led him to start publishing his own and existing collections which led to ten volumes of The English and Scottish Popular Ballads. Its publication continued even after his death in 1898. Because of the tremendous variations inherent in each of the songs, he identified them by number. It is not however, a comprehensive collection of every known Scottish and English folk song; at 305, he had barely scratched the surface. It’s not clear why he chose certain selections, while rejecting others. He took that question to the grave.
Coming in at number 20 is “The Cruel Mother”, also known as “The Greenwood Side”, or “Greenwood Sidey.” Child acknowledged 16 more versions including “The Lady of York”, “Fine Flowers in the Valley”, “There Was a Lady Dressed in Green”, etc. It’s a gruesome tale both of domestic violence and the supernatural handled in a rather off-handed manner. The basic gist of the story is that a young woman who is either a) a princess, b) a poor commoner c) a rich man’s daughter has a roll in the hay, or the weeds, becomes pregnant and gives birth to one or more children, who she then kills with a penknife. As a portent of things to come, the blood from the knife refuses to be washed off. Shortly after, as the homicidal mother is out walking, she meets a child (children) and remarks that if they were hers, she would dress them in the finest clothes. To her horror, they reply that she did not do that while they were alive. The children then taunt her with visions of her future in Hell. Sung to a very lovely tune.
•••
A pen knife is also featured in “Welia Walia”, another equally disturbing infanticide story. But this has a lighthearted gallows humor treatment that was very popular with children. On Recorded Live. The Clancy Brothers and Tommy Makem in Ireland from 1964, the boys let loose with their arrangement that would be well received in any playground.
There was an old woman who lived in the wood
Weela Weela Walya
There was an old woman who lived in the wood
Down by the river Saile.
She had a baby three months old
Weela Weela Walya
She had a baby three months old
Down by the river Saile.
She had a penknife three foot long
Weela Weela Walya
She had a penknife three foot long
Down by the river Saile.
She stuck the penknife in the baby's head
Weela Weela Walya
The more she stuck it, the more it bled
Down by the river Saile.
Three big knocks came a'knocking on her door
Weela Weela Walya
Two policemen and a man
Down by the river Saile.
"Are you the woman what killed the child?"
Weela Weela Walya
"Are you the woman what killed the child?"
Down by the river Saile.
"I am the woman what killed the child"
Weela Weela Walya
"I am the woman what killed the child"
Down by the river Saile.
They took her away and she got hung
Weela Weela Walya
They took her away and she got hung
Down by the river Saile.
The moral of this story is
Weela Weela Walya
Don’t stick knives in baby’s heads.
Down by the river Saile.
•••
Gentlemen, if you’ve ever had evil thoughts concerning your wife, just remember she’s thought even worse about you. And with that in mind, it’s on to Child Ballad number 278, “The Farmer’s Curst Wife.” This tune, like many other British ballads, transitioned to the new world mostly intact but with variations. Here’s an American take:
Now there was an old man lived under a hill
If he ain’t moved away he’s living there still
Hi, diddle-aye diddle-aye fie
Diddle-aye diddle-aye day
He took out his horse and began to plough
But how he got around he didn’t know how
Hi, diddle-aye diddle-aye fie
Diddle-aye diddle-aye day
Now the Devil came to his house one day
Says, "Your old wife I’m going to take away"
Hi, diddle-aye diddle-aye fie
Diddle-aye diddle-aye day
"Take her on, take her on, with all of my heart
I hope, by golly, that you’ll never part"
Hi, diddle-aye diddle-aye fie
Diddle-aye diddle-aye day
So the Devil took the old woman up on his back
The old man says, "Don’t you ever bring her back!"
Hi, diddle-aye diddle-aye fie
Diddle-aye diddle-aye day
Now they hadn’t gone half a mile down the road
When the old Devil says, "You’re a hell of a load"
Hi, diddle-aye diddle-aye fie
Diddle-aye diddle-aye day
But when they got to the gates of Hell
He says, "Punch up the fire, we’re gonna toast her well"
Hi, diddle-aye diddle-aye fie
Diddle-aye diddle-aye day
So the Devil built the flames up higher and higher
She up with her foot and kicked him in the fire
Hi, diddle-aye diddle-aye fie
Diddle-aye diddle-aye day
There was three little devils a-dragging their chains
She up with a hatchet and split out their brains
Hi, diddle-aye diddle-aye fie
Diddle-aye diddle-aye day
There were nine more devils a-running through the hall
They says, "Take her back, Daddy, she’s a-murdering us all!"
Hi, diddle-aye diddle-aye fie
Diddle-aye diddle-aye day
Now the old man was peeping out of a crack
When he saw the Devil come a-wagging her back
Hi, diddle-aye diddle-aye fie
Diddle-aye diddle-aye day
She found the old man sick in his bet
She up with the butter-stick and beat him on the head
Hi, diddle-aye diddle-aye fie
Diddle-aye diddle-aye day
So that shows you what the women can do
They can outwit the Devil and their old man too
Hi, diddle-aye diddle-aye fie
Diddle-aye diddle-aye day
And that’s one advantage women have over men
They can go down to Hell, they can come back again
Hi, diddle-aye diddle-aye fie
Diddle-aye diddle-aye day
No explanation needed.